Help Me Mend the Pieces of My Broken Heart and Mind
by ninewood
Summary: Rumplestiltskin deals with the aftermath of his ordeal with Zelena.


The soft squeak of the spinning wheel filled the room while Rumplestiltskin held the strands of straw in his fingers and turned the wheel with his left hand. His eyes were dull while they watched the thin strands of straw and the long strands of gold gathered at his feet. He was wearing a gray t-shirt with long white sleeves and gray flannel pajamas bottoms and he used his bare left foot to move the spinning wheel peddle up and down. He didn't notice or hear the bedroom door opening while Belle entered the room and walked to him. She watched him spinning the wheel when she gently reached her hand out and stroked his neck length brown hair. Some of his hair was in his chocolate brown eyes, but he didn't notice and the sunlight from the window sparkled on the gold in the stubble on his cheeks, chin and neck.

"Good morning," she said, but he didn't answer and she brushed some of his hair behind his right ear.

A week had passed since the final battle with Zelena, but what happened to Rumplestiltskin afterwards made Belle want to scream.

_One week ago_

The front door opened as Belle and Emma half carried Rumplestiltskin inside and Emma slammed the door close. It had been Emma's idea to take Rumplestiltskin back to his house before the others formed a mob and came after him, demanding his death. It was bad enough that Neal had sacrificed himself to bring his father back from the dead, but she was damned if she was going to let his father die…again.

"Let's take him upstairs," Emma said as they took him upstairs and he moved his feet almost automatically. Belle tried to remember which bedroom was his when the door at the end of the hallway opened on its own and they walked in the room.

She knew he had cast charms and spells on the house so she felt safe, but seeing the blank look on his face made her heart hurt. They walked to the bed as Emma let go of him and went to pulled the bedding back. They took turns as they undressed him then put him in his gray t-shirt with long white sleeves and gray flannel pajamas bottoms and Emma sighed, shaking her head.

"I wish we had time to give him a bath," Emma said as they slid him under the bedding and Belle sat on the bed next to him. She brushed the hair from his eyes when he looked at her and pressed his lips together, giving her a confused look.

"Belle?" he asked with a lost tone to his voice and she took his hand, kissing his knuckles.

"It's ok. You're safe now," she said and he turned onto his left side, nearly burying his face in her stomach. He started sobbing as she hushed him and Emma walked to the window. The window looked out onto the street as she saw the others coming and she turned, looking at them.

"They're coming," Emma said and walked to the bed.

"Please, don't let them take him," Belle pleaded as Rumplestiltskin started shaking and sobbed. She hushed him while Emma headed for the door and left the room. Belle could barely hear the loud thumping coming from downstairs then Emma telling someone to stop and footsteps came from the stairs. Belle held her breath when the door slammed open and Grumpy, the Blue Fairy, Granny, Ruby, Archie, Doctor Whale, Regina, Robin Hood and Charming came in the room. Snow White was at home with Henry and the new baby as Charming walked to the bed and Rumplestiltskin looked at him then covered his head with his right arm. "Leave him alone!"

They looked at Rumplestiltskin as he sobbed while he shook and gulped air into his lungs. None of them had ever seen him like this before as Granny walked closer and sat down on the bed. She carefully reached out her hand to touch him, but Rumplestiltskin only cried out and curled his body into a ball.

"I can't believe it. He's completely terrified," Granny said as she looked at the others and frowned.

"How can you tell?" Grumpy asked,

"I can smell his fear. It's coming off him in waves. No one, not even him, can fake that. Not even with magic."

"Well, he should be terrified after what he did," the Blue Fairy sneered.

"Get out!" Belle shouted.

"Let me have a look at him," Doctor Whale said as Granny got up and he sat on the bed. He reached for Rumplestiltskin's wrist and barely touched him when Rumplestiltskin cried out again and got off the bed. They watched him run to the corner then curl into a ball and placed his arms over his head.

"Stop it! You're scaring him!" Belle shouted when she got off the bed and ran to him. She gathered Rumplestiltskin in her arms as she rocked him and stroking his hair. He sobbed harder while she hushed him and Doctor Whale got off the bed, walking to them. He knelt down on his knees when she saw the look in his eyes then looked at Rumplestiltskin. "Hush now. It's alright. Doctor Whale just wants to see if you're ok."

"I need to go to the hospital and get my medical bag," Whale said as he got up then left the room and they watched Belle rock Rumplestiltskin back and forth.

Rumplestiltskin slept as Belle moved the dark blue duvet up to his left shoulder and kissed the top of his head.

She had watched every move Whale did while he examined Rumplestiltskin, but she was shocked when she saw the healed scar on Rumplestiltskin's chest.

When he was finished, Whale had given him something to put him to sleep and he placed the stethoscope in his medical bag sitting on the night table.

"How is he?" Emma asked as she stood by the door and Whale turned, looking at her.

"He's suffering from mild dehydration and malnutrition, but what I'm puzzled by is how he survived being stabbed in the heart. He should be dead," Whale said and Emma saw the look in his eyes. They all knew who he really was as she walked closer and locked eyes with him.

"Back off. He's not one of your experiments," she said and saw the hurt in his eyes.

"That was uncalled for."

"So is that mob outside!"

"Do you even know what he's been through?" Belle asked as she sat on the bed and stroked Rumplestiltskin's hair. "He had to kill his father in order to stop him and ended up dying as well. I have no idea where he went, but I will never forget the look on his face after he came back. He looked so grief stricken and so full of despair that my heart broke. What made it worse was his son being tricked into bringing him back. Not because we wanted him back, but because he was to be a pawn in a mad woman's need for revenge! He didn't give her his dagger freely! It was either the dagger or his son and he chose his son! If he was the monster you all think he is, he would have let his son die and kept it! I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for him after he saved his son and became her prisoner."

"Did you know after she had brought all of you back that he was locked in a cage for a year and treated like an animal? To top it all off, he had to standby and helplessly watch his son DIE!" Emma said and Whale gave her a stunned look.

"He was there?" Whale asked.

"Yes, did you think I was the only one?!" Emma demanded. "Now I want you to go out there and tell them go home and leave him alone!"

"He needs to be in a hospital."

"Get out before I throw you out the window!"

"No, I mean it. The two of you aren't trained for what he's going to go through."

"What is he going to go through?" Belle asked.

"He will have nightmares and night terrors. His mood will change at a drop of a hat. He might not even be as he was before he died."

"You mean he might be darker and more dangerous than usual?" Emma asked.

"There is a possibility for that," Whale sighed. "We need to treat him like he was a prisoner of war and has been badly tortured or like someone who has been traumatized either in battle or from a horrific accident or trauma."

"You mean like someone who was sexually assaulted?"

"Yes."

"Or he could be just fine," Belle said.

"He might. It depends on what he's like when he wakes up."

"Then let's go so you can explain that to the others," Emma said as they walked to the door and left the room.

"You have to be alright," Belle whispered as she took Rumplestiltskin's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Come back to me."

Emma insisted on staying with them and the next few nights he woke them up screaming from nightmares and night terrors. Emma and Belle took turns holding him until he went back to sleep and both were beginning to wonder if he would ever fully recover.

Rumplestiltskin glanced at her then looked back at the thin strands of straw as Belle thought back to what Emma told her had happened when the Blue Fairy attacked and sighed.

"May I ask you something, Dearie?" he asked as Emma looked up from the book she was reading him and she placed the book on the night table. "Were you happy when I died?"

"Well, I don't approve of how you do things, but, no, I wasn't happy."

"Do you blame me for what happened to Bae?"

"No," she said as she moved closer when she wrapped her arm around his shoulders and he smiled at her. "You ok?"

"If I am to be honest, I'm angry. The question is who am I angry at? Is it me, Zelena, Cora, Regina, Pan, Belle or…Bae? Am I angry because I do something right and everyone still hates me? What do I want to do about it? Should I destroy everyone or do I just pack my things and Belle and I go off somewhere to start over? Am I still the Dark One or am I just Rumplestiltskin? Am I villain or a hero?"

"Well, I'll tell you this. If you're asking questions, it means you want to change."

"But what am I changing into?"

"I don't know. All I know is I'm glad you're here."

"So am I, Dearie," he said with a small sigh. Suddenly a blue light filled the room as they looked at the blue light and the Blue Fairy appeared at the foot of the bed. Before either of them could move, she drew a dagger out of the sleeve of her dress and charged at them. Emma picked up the book when she swung the book and knocked the dagger out of her hand while Rumplestiltskin dived off the bed, running into the corner. He watched Emma and the Blue Fairy fight when Emma tackled her to the floor and the Blue Fairy screamed. The door slammed open when Belle ran into the room and saw Emma sitting on the Blue Fairy and the dagger and the book were lying on the floor by the bed.

"What happened?" Belle asked while running to Rumplestiltskin then held him in her arms as Emma looked at her and she saw the anger in her eyes.

"She was going to kill him!" Emma growled as she grabbed hold of the Blue Fairy's hair and the Blue Fairy screamed.

"How did she get in?"

"I don't know. All I know was we were talking when she appeared and attacked him," Emma said as she looked at Rumplestiltskin and he was whimpering.

"How did you get in?" Belle demanded and the Blue Fairy gave her a smug look.

"I never left!" she said and Emma growled.

"I wondered why he kept screaming about making the blue light go away," Emma said.

"Please, go away," Belle said and stroked Rumplestiltskin's hair.

"He has to die!" the Blue Fairy shouted when the closet door opened and something fell off the shelf. Belle let go of Rumplestiltskin as she walked to the closet then she picked up an iron cage with glass windows off the floor and held the iron cage in her hands.

"What is that?" Emma asked as she pulled the Blue Fairy to her feet and Belle walked to them.

"Fairy," came from the corner as they looked at Rumplestiltskin and he was sitting against the wall. He wiped his face with his hands then sighed and pointed to the iron cage. "It's a fairy cage."

"How do we use it?" Emma asked and Rumplestiltskin made a weak giggle.

"Open it," he said then closed his eyes and the Blue Fairy's eyes widened.

"You wouldn't!" she cried out.

"Yeah, we would," Emma said and the Blue Fairy gasped, looking at Belle.

"Belle, think this over! He's evil and insane! Let me put him out of his misery!" the Blue Fairy said.

"No!" Belle growled.

"You know, I think it would have been better if we had let Pan take over. At least with him, we knew who the true monster was," Emma said.

"How dare you!" the Blue Fairy shouted.

"She's right, Dearie," Rumplestiltskin said from the corner and looked at her through the hair half covering his face. "I might be a villain, but I was never a monster. I would never hurt a child or…"

"You would never hurt a child?! What about your son?! He came to me to get away from you!" she shouted then yelped as Emma pulled her hair until her head went back and growled.

"Don't you dare bring his son into this!" she snarled and Rumplestiltskin buried his face in his hands. The Blue Fairy looked at him as his body shook and he bent his knees up then lowered his head. She heard true sobs of sorrow as she broke free from Emma then walked over and knelt down in front of him. The Blue Fairy reached over to touch his hair when his head snapped up and she saw angry, red lizard eyes looking at her. She backed away from him when Emma came closer and knelt down, placing her hands on his knees. He blinked the hot tears out of his eyes as they changed back to their normal color and she brushed the hair from his face. "No, she's not worth it."

"Make her go away," he pleaded as she turned and looked at Belle. Nodding her head, she watched Belle opened the door of the iron cage and a yellow light came out. The Blue Fairy screamed as the yellow light hit her then went back into the iron cage and the door slammed shut. Belle could just see her in the yellow light when she looked at Emma and she had gotten Rumplestiltskin to his feet.

"What do you want me to do with this?" Belle asked.

"I think we should toss it in the ocean," Emma said when Rumplestiltskin gently squeezed her arm and shook his head. With a shaky hand, he wiggled his fingers as the iron cage vanished in purple smoke and he slumped against her. They put him back to bed as Belle sat next to him and kissed the top of his head.

She never asked where he had sent the iron cage.

Rumplestiltskin stopped the wheel when he turned to look at her and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Hello," he said as she leaned closer to kiss his lips, but he moved back, shaking his head.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Belle said softly.

"She…Zelena made me kiss her after she…made me fall in love with her," he said then scrunched up his nose.

To get her revenge, Zelena tried to go back in time and stop Cora from abandoning her and stop Regina being born, but her attempts failed. To his regret, she had also made him fall in love with her and they had kissed.

"I know," she said and he lowered his head. She lifted his chin while smiling at him and he blinked his eyes a few times. She moved closer when their lips met and she gently kissed him. He stood up while they kissed when he slid his arms around her waist and she slid her arms around his neck. Both of them knew that True Love's Kiss would break his curse so they were careful how deeply they kissed and she moved her fingers through his hair. The stubble on his face tickled when she slowly moved back and saw he was blushing.

"Forgive me?"

"Yes," she said then stroked his chin. "How about we get you cleaned up and dressed?"

"I don't think I trust myself with a razor."

"Will you let me do it?" she asked and he pressed his lips together. When she tried to shave him a few days ago, he had screamed and hid in the corner until she left the room. Now he looked at her with such trust in his eyes and she gently stroked his cheek.

"Yes," he said. She took his hand then led him into the bathroom as the light came on and he sat on the counter. He watched as she wet his face then spread his favorite shaving cream over his cheeks, chin and neck then wiped her hands on the towel she had placed on the counter.

"Ready?" she asked and he nodded his head. She picked up the razor sitting next to the toothbrush in the blue cup and he half lowered his eyelids. She carefully moved the razor over his cheek then under his nose while he closed his eyes and sat still. She moved the razor over his other cheek then his chin and he had a relaxed look on his face. She lifted his chin to shave his neck and he pressed his lips together while holding his breath. After she finished, she lowered his chin then kissed his lips and he puffed out the breath of air he was holding. She wiped his face with the soft towel when he hopped off the counter and she cleaned the razor off then placed the razor back in the blue cup. He watched her put the shaving cream can back in the medicine cabinet then hung the towel on the towel rack and he leaned against the doorframe. Taking his hand, she led him back in the bedroom then let go of his hand and walked to the closet. She opened the closet door when the light came on and she looked at the suits. "Which one do you want to wear?"

"I don't want to wear any of them. In fact, I don't think I'll wear a suit ever again," he said and she nodded her head, closing the closet door. "I do have other clothes in the dresser."

She walked to the dresser when she opened the top drawer then looked at clothes and smiled.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Emma asked while they walked down the pavement and looked at Rumplestiltskin. She was surprised when he had come downstairs wearing a white shirt, a white fleece sweater, jeans, a black leather belt, white socks and black leather loafers and his hair was been neatly combed with the fringe framing his face.

"I have to leave the house sometime, Dearie," he said while holding Belle's hand and she gently squeezed his fingers. They stopped in front the door to Granny's diner when Emma opened the door and they went inside. The door closed behind them as he stood behind Emma and Belle and Granny looked at them.

"Uh…," she said and Emma glared at her. Grumpy, Ruby and the others looked at them when Emma saw Charming and Snow White sitting at a booth and the baby sat in the baby carrier.

"Maybe we should leave," Rumplestiltskin said softly as he turned to leave when Emma placed her hand on his shoulder and shook his head. She led them to the booth as they sat down and Ruby walked to the table. Rumplestiltskin jumped when she placed her hand on his shoulder then gently squeezed it and smiled at him.

"Hamburgers and fries all around?" she asked.

"And some ice teas," Emma said and Ruby nodded her head, walking away. The others relaxed when Granny walked to the booth and Rumplestiltskin looked up at her.

"Stand up," she said while Emma glared at her and Rumplestiltskin slowly stood up. He was surprised when Granny hugged him while rubbing his back and he hugged her. She moved back as she smiled at him then walked away and he sat down.

Ruby returned a few minutes later with their orders then walked away and Rumplestiltskin looked at his hamburger. He noticed that Granny had given him extra pickles as he smiled and started eating. Belle had reached for the ketchup bottle the same time he had as he blushed then coughed and they moved their hands back. Emma only smiled and rolled her eyes as he finally handed Belle the ketchup bottle and Belle spread some ketchup on the fries.

"Excuse me," Snow White said as they looked at her and she held the baby in her arms. She looked at Rumplestiltskin while he scooted a little closer to Belle and Snow White saw the fear in his eyes. "I don't think you two have been properly introduced."

"Um," Rumplestiltskin said as he moved back and she placed the baby in his arms. He felt nervous as he looked at the baby and the baby reached up, grabbing his nose. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he sadly smiled and gently rocked the baby while Snow White gave him a confused look.

"Are you alright?" Snow asked.

"Yes," he said then sighed. "I just remembered when Bae was a baby and he grabbed my nose."

"Oh," she said as he gently stroked the tip of the baby's nose and she patted his shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you're ok."

"Are you, Dearie?"

"Yes, you had us all worried."

"She's right," Charming said when he stood next to her and Rumplestiltskin looked at him. "No one, not even you, deserved to be treated like that."

"Yes," Rumplestiltskin sighed then looked at the baby. "You look like your mama."

"It's nice to see you out and about again."

"Well, like I told her," he said and looked at Emma. "I have to leave the house at some point."

"Are you going to open the pawnshop soon?" Snow asked.

"It depends, Dearie. Do you have something to pawn?" he said, pointing to the baby with a small smile on his face.

"No," she said with a giggle to her voice, knowing he was kidding.

"Well, that's good," he said then looked at the baby. "Children are priceless."

"Yes, they are," she said and patted his shoulder.

Rumplestiltskin handed the baby back to Snow White as they walked away and Belle moved closer. He still felt uneasy, but, when Granny had sent over free pieces of pie with ice cream on top, any uneasy feeling quickly melted away and he and Belle took turns feeding each other while Emma watched with a smile on her face.

Rumplestiltskin was surprised how organized and clean the pawnshop was as he looked at the ledger and saw that Belle had collected the rents while he was recovering. He closed the ledger then placed the ledger under the counter and smiled. He looked up when the bell over the door rang and Regina led Roland inside the pawnshop. He watched Roland walk to one of the display cases while Regina walked closer and stood near the counter.

Emma had told her to leave Rumplestiltskin alone, but she had to know how he was after what Zelena had done and he leaned his elbows on the glass, looking at her.

"Hello, Dearie," he said and she gave him a blank look.

"You and I need to talk," she said and he noticed a familiar look in her eyes.

"What shall we talk about?"

"What are you up to?" she asked and he gave her a wide eyed look.

"I don't have anything going on at the moment."

"I know you. You just don't…."

"Mister Gold, what is this?" Roland asked as he pointed to something in the display case of antique toys and Rumplestiltskin walked to the display case to see what he was pointing at.

"_That's Bae's ball,"_ he thought and Roland looked at him. Emma had told him about Roland and he was glad that he had let Robin Hood use his wand to heal his wife. She was pregnant with Roland at the time and the idea of Robin losing his family made his heart hurt.

"That is my son's ball," he said and Roland pouted.

"Papa said he's in the sky like my mama," Roland said then looked at the ball.

"Yes, he is," Rumplestiltskin said then was surprised when Roland came around the counter, ran to him and wrapped his arms around Rumplestiltskin's legs. Bending down, he picked Roland up as they hugged and he patted Roland's back. Moving back, Roland looked at the ball then at him and Rumplestiltskin smiled. "Would you like the ball?"

"For keeps?" he asked with wide eyes.

"Yes," Rumplestiltskin said while placing Roland down on his feet then opened the display case, taking the ball out. He handed the ball to him as Roland smiled and held the ball to his chest.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said and Regina looked from him to Rumplestiltskin.

"Why don't you go show your papa your new ball?" Regina asked as Roland nodded then left after saying goodbye and Regina waited until the door closed before looking at Rumplestiltskin.

"Is there something wrong, Dearie?"

"It depends," she said, walking to the display case and leaned on the glass. "Did you do something to the ball?"

"No," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't hurt children."

"You wanted to kill Henry," she said and his eyes widened. She saw the shock on his face when he balled his hands into fists and she sighed. "Ok, that was uncalled for."

"Yes, it was," he said and she placed her hands on top of his.

"Look, just tell me one thing. Where is he?"

"I think Henry's in school."

"No, I mean where are you?" she asked and he frowned.

"I don't understand."

"The Rumplestiltskin I know would have bounced back by now."

"That Rumplestiltskin might not exist anymore."

"I want him back!" she demanded as he sighed and turned his hands around and held her hands.

"So do I," he sighed then was shocked when she let go of his hands, walked around the counter and hugged him. He held her tightly as she rubbed his back and placed her head on his shoulder. They parted as she locked eyes with him and gave him a familiar look.

"Find a way," she said then gave him a little smile before walking to the door and left the shop. He watched the door closing when he smiled then giggled, shaking his head and rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Henry asked as he and Emma walked along the front walk and she looked at the front door to Rumplestiltskin's house. She knew that Henry was angry with Rumplestiltskin over what had happened to Neal, but she decided it was time they talked and she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah," she said as they went up the stairs and she knocked on the door. Belle opened the door a few seconds later as she smiled at them and let them in. She closed the door while Henry looked at her and she saw the worry in his eyes. "Where is he?"

"He's upstairs," Belle said as she looked at the top of the stairs then sighed.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked with a worried look in her eyes.

"Regina came to the pawnshop," Belle sighed and Emma balled her hands into fists.

"I told her to stay away from him."

"He said she brought Roland with her."

"How was he with Roland?"

"He gave him one of Bae's toys."

"What did he give him?"

"It was Bae's leather ball."

"Why did he give it to him?" Henry asked.

"He thought Roland would like it."

"What did Regina say to him that upset him?" Emma asked.

"She wanted to know what he was up to. She thought he had done something to the ball."

"He would never hurt a child."

"No, he wouldn't. He told her that and she reminded him that he wanted to kill Henry," Belle said then sighed and fire burned in Emma's eyes.

"I can't believe she said that."

"Well, she did."

"Is he ok?" Henry asked.

"When I came to bring him his lunch, I found that he in the back lying on the couch and he looked like he had been crying."

"Great," Emma sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I brought him straight home and he went upstairs. He's been up there ever since."

"Maybe we should come back later," Henry said.

"No," a voice said and they saw Rumplestiltskin standing at the top of the stairs. His hair was in his face and he was wearing his gray t-shirt with long white sleeves and gray flannel pajamas bottoms. His feet were bare and he looked like he had been crying.

"Hello," Emma said while they watched him come down the stairs and walked to them. He slightly smiled as she hugged him and he placed his head on her shoulder. They parted as he looked at Henry and a cold shiver moved through him as he saw his son's eyes looking back at him.

"Come with me," he said as he held his hand out and Henry took his hand. They walked into the living room when they sat on the couch and Emma and Belle went into the kitchen. Henry turned to look at him when he folded one leg under the other and Rumplestiltskin leaned back against the cushion. "Why haven't you come to see me?"

"I didn't think you wanted me to," Henry said and Rumplestiltskin's eyes widened.

"Of course I did! When you didn't come, I thought you hated me."

"Well, I am angry at you, but I don't hate you. I thought you hated me," he said and Rumplestiltskin felt his heart sinking to his feet.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Pan had taken over my body and no one knew until Mom freed me from Pandora's Box and I told her it was me," he sighed and Rumplestiltskin blinked his eyes a few times.

"I was the one who put you in it."

"Because you thought I was Pan," Henry half shouted as Rumplestiltskin wrapped his arms around him and held him. "It's because of me that you died."

"No," he said as he elongated the "o" and rocked him as Henry cried. He hushed Henry as he rubbed his back then Henry sat up and wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. He handed Henry some tissues from the box on the small table near the couch and Henry blew his nose. "I died because I had enough and didn't want him to hurt my family anymore."

"But he was your dad."

"He stopped being that the day he sent me away."

"Were you scared?"

"No, because I knew there was only one way to get rid of him and I was ready to pay the price finally being free of him."

"This is going to sound dumb, but did it hurt?" he asked and Rumplestiltskin gently rubbed his chest.

"Not really," he said then sighed.

"Regina had to make us forget because I couldn't go with them."

"Belle told me that."

"It's funny. When I was in New York, I always wondered if I had any grandparents. Mom told me that I didn't, but I felt like I did. Once, we saw this guy walking down the sidewalk and he had a cane that looked like yours. For a second, I remembered you then he walked away."

"How did you feel after he walked away?"

"Like someone was missing in my life," he sighed and Rumplestiltskin ruffled his hair.

"So you missed me?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Henry said and he placed his arm around Henry.

"If it makes you feel any better, I missed you, too. I missed all of you, but knew there was nothing I could do."

"Belle told me you looked miserable when you came back."

"I was," he sighed and Henry placed his head on his shoulder.

"Why did you think you think I hated you?"

"If I hadn't died then your father wouldn't have had sacrificed himself to bring me back."

"He missed you."

"I know, but he still should have left me where I was."

"If he had then Zelena wouldn't have gotten hold of your dagger."

"Yes," he said with a nod of his head.

"I still think she would have come. Her story was in my book."

"You read her story?" he asked, wide eyed.

"No, I never liked the Wizard of OZ. The flying monkeys scared me," he said and Rumplestiltskin giggled.

"They scared me, too," he said with a wink.

"Mom said that you placed him inside you so he wouldn't die."

"Yes, I couldn't stand the idea of living without him," he said then sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I guess I'll have to."

"What did it feel like after you placed him inside you?"

"I was so confused. There were so many voices in my head that there was no room for me. There was no Rumple."

"Did you hear his voice?"

"Yes and I also saw his life and I think he saw mine. I remember hearing him telling me that he loved me and forgave me and he was sorry. I would tell him the same when we switched places."

"Do you love me?" Henry asked softly.

"Of course I do," he said with a smile.

"I love you, too…Grandpa," he said and Rumplestiltskin gently rubbed his arm. "Can you tell me about him? Mom and Hook told me some things, but I don't know what he was like when he was my age."

Rumplestiltskin thought for a few seconds then started telling him stories about Neal and Belle, who was watching them, smiled then turned and walked down the hallway.

The wind blew through his hair as Rumplestiltskin stood at the foot of Neal's grave and looked at the gravestone. He held onto the gold handle of the black wood cane and tears rolled down his cheeks. Belle hadn't taken him to the cemetery until she was sure he could handle seeing Neal's grave and he sighed.

"Bae," he whispered then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and knelt on his knees. He placed the black wood cane next to him when he removed the rose from his suit jacket and placed the rose on the grave. He leaned back on his legs as he looked up at the gray sky and blinked his eyes. "Oh, Bae, I wish you were here. I don't know what to do. I'm so angry. I'm angry at my father for abandoning me then using others to turn me against Henry. I'm angry at Cora for abandoning Zelena. I'm angry at me for teaching Zelena magic. I'm angry at Regina for casting the Dark Curse then breaking it. I'm angry at Hook for being the father I should have been while you were growing up. I'm angry at Belle for not letting me go and talking you into helping her find a way to bring me back. I'm angry at…you. Everything I did, I did for you. I thought you knew that. When we finally forgave each other, I thought I would have time to make for all those years we were apart. I was looking forward to watching you with your son and coming to me for advice when Henry got out of line. I was looking forward to seeing you and Emma finally getting married, if that's what you wanted. I was looking forward to having you work at the pawnshop with me. There was so much I wanted to do. Now…now I can't. All I want is to tear this town apart and destroy everyone in it because you were taken from me. They still don't trust me and I don't blame them. I don't trust myself anymore. Revenge costs. So does anger and grief. It's eating me up inside. I need my son. I need you. Please don't think I hate you. I don't. I love you."

Belle stood a distance away from him as she watched him and the tears rolled down her cheeks. She slowly walked closer as he placed his hands on the ground and lifted his head to look at the gravestone.

"They put both of his names," he said softly while wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and she placed her hand on his shoulder while kneeling next to him.

"It was my idea," she said as he looked at her and tears rolled freely down his cheeks.

"I miss him," he said and she brushed the tears from his eyes.

"I know you do."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes," she said and looked down. "You must hate me."

"No, oh no," he said as he pulled her into his arms and held her.

"But you said you were angry that I talked him into getting you back."

"I am, but I don't hate you," he said and looked deeply into her eyes. "I have never hated you."

"I just didn't want to believe you were gone for good," she said as she placed her head on his shoulder and placed her hand against his chest. She could just feel his heart slamming in his chest as he kissed the tip of her nose. She finally shed the tears she had been holding in as he rocked her, but didn't feel the light mist that had started falling on them. He stroked her hair as he told her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for leaving her. She claimed down a few minutes later as he handed her his handkerchief and she wiped her eyes then her nose. "I must look a mess."

"You look adorable, My Beauty," he said and she giggled.

"If I'm Beauty then you're the Beast," she said and he smiled, rolling his eyes.

"If you say so, Dearie," he said then frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"I know what happened to my dagger, but I'm scared of what I'm becoming. I'm getting darker. Normally I wouldn't mind, but there is a part of me that does. I want to be the Rumple you fell in love with."

"He's still inside you. He's just lost," she said. His shirt was open as she slid her hand through the opening and rested her hand over his heart. Her finger gently moved over the scar as he looked down then at her and she smiled at him.

"What if he doesn't come back? Will you still love me?"

"Yes," she said then kissed his cheek and he sighed, looking at the gravestone as the light mist floated around them.


End file.
